Coffee Talk: Ellipses— Fascist Punctuation of Insipid Insult?

Coffee Talk is a regularly occurring segment where Lindsay and Hannah, inspired by Linda Richmond from SNL yore, sit around and talk about something. And boy do they talk.

Oh the dramatics that accompany the world of grammar! The fierce back-and-forth jousting that occurs with endnotes! The heated disputes of those who type against the Oxford Comma! The maniacal outbursts against that tall dark and handsome and somewhat misunderstood semicolon!

Today though, no war wages bigger or brighter then the bewildering use of ellipses. Those mysterious three dots that became en vogue during the early 19th century are now experiencing a renaissance of epic proportions. Here at Black Sheep, we have noticed an infestation of three squatty dots, running rampant in everything from personal emails to press releases and of course (being us) we could no longer stay silent. Weighing in on the topic, resident grammarian, Lindsay Bosslet gives us her side of the story, interviewed by Hannah Siegel-Gardner (known ellipses despiser).

Hannah: First of all, what is your relationship with the ellipses? When did you first come across it?

Lindsay: Well, it’s a tenuous one, to be sure. I guess I first came across it in elementary school (I was a pretty advanced writer for my age), but I referred to it by its street name, “dot dot dot.” Even then, I knew it was risky, so I avoided it as much as possible. I really experimented with it in college, and I use it recreationally every now and then.

Hannah: Can you please describe the effect that ellipses have on you?

Lindsay: I don’t want to get political or anything, but I do think people can use the ellipses positively and responsibly. I think the real danger is when it’s used as a crutch. First, you use it to convey missing information, next it’s for a pause, and then it’s at the end of every single sentence. You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you forget to leave the proper space following the ellipses and use more than the requisite amount of dots. It’s only THREE dots (or four if it’s the last written sentence), people, not as many as you want.

I guess what I’m saying is that now that I’ve seen the social implications of its irresponsible use, I’m very hesitant to adopt it myself, even at times when it’s perfectly acceptable. I feel a pang of anxiety down my spine every time I so much as see it.

Hannah: So you do or don’t believe people are personally attacking you when they include ellipses in what you deem an improper way, and you have or have not sought outside help to remedy this feeling?

Lindsay: I try not to take too much offense, but I do feel slighted. I think to glean the real value from the ellipsis you have to appreciate it and learn about its proper use. But when someone’s too lazy to finish a sentence or set an accurate tone by finding the appropriate words, it’s definitely offensive in a slack-jawed, open mouth-breathing sort of way. I hate to be so judgmental, but I’ll definitely think less of a person who uses it in excess.

Hannah: Do you believe that it is appropriate to use ellipses to indicate a brief or pregnant pause?

Lindsay: That’s a tough one. I can see both sides of the coin, but as I said before, it’s a slippery slope. A pregnant pause, maybe, but where do you draw the line? How do you define that? And at what point does that pregnant pause evolve into a sarcastic inflection or a loss of interest in the conversation? I prefer to be bitchy with my grown-up words, thank you very much, and I like to do so definitively. With periods.

But, I am a reasonable human being, and I recognize there is some moral gray area. I know some people, who use them to soften the tone of their written conversation, and I understand the motivation, but again, I don’t think it’s the best solution.

Hannah: Ellipses are now used in signs and as part of slogans. Most recently ellipses were seen, being used by a store in this manner,“ Fortuna…Couture.” As a wordsmith what are your thoughts on this?

Lindsay: What is this world coming to? No, that is not acceptable, especially for a couture line. I think of myself as a pretty progressive copywriter, but they’re attracting the wrong kind of audience with that message.

Hannah: When you tried to rip down the sign, what happened to you?

Lindsay: My publicist (Aimee) said I was not to answer any questions regarding that matter. I will say that whoever did that probably had the best of intentions and should be recognized for their bravery.

Hannah: Sorry, perhaps that wasn’t you. Perhaps that was another Black Sheep. Moving on, in journalism ellipses are frequently used to indicate that content has been omitted from quoted material. Are you able to put away your intense hatred of ellipses in this situation?

Lindsay: I am fine with it when the information omitted is unnecessary to the context of the argument. Now, that’s to the journalist’s discretion, and I think we’ve all seen cases when it’s not used fairly or honestly. I blame half of the problems in Washington on the ellipses, no question.

Hannah: Em dash, versus ellipses. Quick, which one would you use.

Lindsay: Em dashes any day. It makes things clearer – not fuzzier – and at my age, that’s what I need from punctuation. Good, clean writing without all the innuendo and subtext.

Hannah: I can’t promise that I will include your answer if you picked ellipses. This is not a question. [Publication note: all responses were included, regardless of the friendly attitude used to portray the ellipsis.]

What can we learn from this interview? Despite Lindsay’s diplomatic opinion towards ellipses, she has a sweet spot for all grammar, a healthy dose of skepticism should be used when feeling the urge to type, write or insinuate verbally those three lonely little islands of darkness. Don’t be too quick to cast away your old and loyal friends, the em dash and the comma, for some new faddish grammatical snake oil. It may come to bite you in the ass.

Clearly, we’re all verklempt.