Creatures of Habit: A Black Sheep Experiment (Part III)

I thought I’d start with an update and let you all know that I’ve been nailing my habit and I haven’t even finished the book. I think this is likely because I finally committed to it—said it out loud and put it in writing. When someone asks me if I can make an exception and take a meeting on a Monday, I simply say, “Did you read my blog about committing to new habits?” I laugh. They laugh. And usually it works. So that’s a good start. But that’s just one habit of many that I need to improve on—and it remains a struggle. So on I read, hanging on Gretchen’s every chapter and pondering her commitment to wearing yoga pants EVERY DAY (she owns this early on in the book, which makes me believe she can do anything).

As I race through the next four chapters, the following key steps rise to the surface:

1. First, start asking yourself some questions.

When it comes to habits, there really is no one-size-fits-all solution. And while that seems pretty common sense, we can struggle to figure out what subtle (or not-so-subtle) traits we posses that may lead to the success or failure when it comes to forming better habits. Gretchen suggests starting with the following questions:

• Am I a lark or an owl?
• Am I a marathoner, a sprinter or a procrastinator?
• Am I an under buyer or an over buyer?
• Am I a simplicity lover or an abundance lover?
• Am I a finisher or an opener?
• Am I a familiarity lover or a novelty lover?
• Am I promotion or prevention focused?
• Do I like to take small steps or big steps?

While these questions may mean little to you without the context of the book, I found three of them to be particularly important in looking at my habitual behaviors, so I included excerpts from the book, keeping them in Gretchen’s own words below.

Novelty vs. Familiarity >> For familiarity lovers, a habit becomes easier when it becomes familiar. Novelty lovers may do better with a series of short-term activities—thirty day challenges, for instance—instead of trying to create an enduring, automatic habit. 

Promotion vs. Prevention >> Promotion-focused people concentrate on achievement and advancement, or making gains, on getting more love, praise, pleasure. They eagerly and optimistically pursue their goals. By contrast, prevention-focused people concentrate on fulfilling their duties, on avoiding losses, and on minimizing danger, pain or censure. They’re vigilant against drawbacks or problems. A promotion-focused person recycles in order to make the environment cleaner; a prevention-focused person recycles in order to prevent getting a fine. 

Small Steps vs. Big Steps >> Many people have better success adopting a habit when they start with modest, manageable steps. A series of minor but real accomplishments gives people the confidence to continue. The slow accumulation of small triumphs is encouraging—and very sustainable. It’s also true that some people do better when they’re very ambitious. Sometimes, counterintuitively, it’s easier to make a major change than a minor change. If a habit changes very gradually, we may lose interest, give way under stress, or dismiss the change as insignificant. A big transformation generates energy and excitement that helps to foster habits. 

I know from these big questions that I am a chaser of novelty, a fan of promotion and a taker of big steps. I’ve always identified with bold moves and extreme commitments and, therefore, I need to take dramatic steps when thinking about forming new habits.

1. Monitor and manage.  

Gretchen says, “The Strategy of Monitoring has an uncanny power. It doesn’t require change, but it often leads to change.” What a way to summarize the purpose of measurement. There’s no arguing her main point in this chapter: measurement leads to awareness and awareness leads to strengthening. While I could talk about this subject all day when it comes to our work, for now, I’ll stick to this personal experiment.

This is what you need to do: look back at your habit (or as you plan for making a commitment now if you’re just jumping in), first figure out how you can track it. Then, figure out a plan for documenting it. If you’re wanting to eat better, start a daily food journal. If you’re wanting to walk more, think about a wearable tracker. If you’re trying to write more, start tracking the days and amount of time you spend putting pen to paper (or clicking keys).

“If we want something to count in our lives, we should figure out a way to count it,” Gretchen says. YES. Let’s start doing that.

1. Focus on foundations.

This is pretty straightforward, so I’ll keep it simple. Gretchen identifies four foundational habits that, if not in solid order, may affect your ability to successfully form other new habits. They are: sleep, move, eat and drink right and unclutter. If these four things aren’t in a good place, you might want to start there. Like all other labels and categories, some of these matter more to some people than others, but be sure you’re not assuming they don’t matter to you. You may need more sleep than you think (guilty).

1. Put it on the calendar. 

This is something I learned quite some time ago, but Gretchen makes it feel like a science. Scheduling “forces us to confront the natural limits of the day. It’s tempting to pretend that I can do everything if only I get the ‘balance’ right, but scheduling requires choices. Scheduling one activity makes that time unavailable for anything else. Which is good—especially for people who have trouble saying no.”

If you want to commit to something—exercise, healthy meal prep, meditation, spending time with family—put it on the calendar. Reserve that time and watch how it changes your ability to actually make it happen.

The next chapter talks about accountability. And it looks like I’ll be holding myself accountable for another post next week. If you’re following along and experimenting along with me, please speak up. I’ve realized I’m conquering another habit goal with this series: writing more! And the encouragement that someone is actually out there reading (and getting something out of it) would be great reinforcement. If you recall from my notes above, I’m fueled by Promotion.