Don’t Speak: The Top Four Ways to Brand a Body (Without a Hot Iron)

Words – who needs ‘em? Apparently a lot of marketing campaigns, for starters. Heck, they don’t need much of anything, other than humans (zombies need not apply). Depending on your dedication to a brand or idea, you may be part of a campaign right this very second. If you’re a dude, you better be (more on this later), and if you’re not, there’s still plenty of opportunities to get involved – usually for a great cause. So, without further ado, the top four ways to brand your body without burning any sort of flesh.

Mustaches – It’s November, and if you identify as male, you should have a mustache as part of the great tradition known as MOVEMBER (besides, it’ll also give your grandma something to whine about at Thanksgiving). It’s a month-long mustache-growing fete promoting men’s health around the world. Slightly undercut by the year-round-mustache-wearing hipster, this growing movement helps spread awareness, and it doesn’t cost a thing. Other organizations, take note! You could suggest growing your toenails for tuberculosis or flexing your biceps for the Army (get it?). You’re probably not going to come up with anything better than Movember, but it’s worth a shot.

Tattoos – Anything can be bought these days – even space on someone’s body. If you’re an advertiser looking for an extreme way to move the needle, find yourself a walking billboard and tattoo away. But, before you do that, you should consider a few things: Does this person spend most of their time alone with their cats? Does this person, as a whole, aptly represent my brand? Is this person absolutely crazy? Correct answers are no, yes and yes.

Clothing – There’s nothing revelatory about this one, but it’s worth mentioning. T-shirts, sweatshirts, strange shorts with messages on the butt and hats all make for pretty low hanging fruit in the bodies-as-brands oeuvre. It’s best to get these items to people you’d actually like to see wearing them – a mover and shaker in your target audience.

This is how not to do it. Sorry, Louis Vuitton.

Activity – This one manifests itself in a multitude of ways. Marathons, flash mobs, protests, tournaments, concerts and sporting events are all opportunities for people to do “something” to create attention for a cause. Whether it requires physical exertion or just showing up, people like to do things in the name of other things. It makes them feel involved and engaged.

There’s nothing more effective than seeing someone else’s commitment to a cause or brand. Whether it’s tattooed on a guy’s forehead or a grown out of a guy’s face, the message is loud and clear.