Who HASN’T heard it before? “It’s not you. It’s me.” “We’re moving too fast.” “You deserve better.” Every guy or girl who has ever delivered (or received) those lines (so everyone), knows those 3-5 word statements mean a whole lot more than their simplistic face-value definition. We say them to soften a blow, to make ourselves feel better and to show some compassion for our audience… er… significant other.

Translation?

“There’s someone else. I liked you, but I’m dating someone who is way hotter than you and is also very interesting.”
“I made out with you by accident three times but that does not mean I want to meet your parents.”
“I deserve better. You seemed cool at first, but I’m not going to settle.”

Ugh. The truth hurts, but sugar-coated nonsense is plain insulting. So why do we keep lying to each other? Instead of acting like the people we’re talking to are stupid and/or have never seen an episode of Sex in the City, why don’t we heed the advice of “He’s Just Not That Into You” and face the facts? Marketers, this goes for you too.

When it comes to addressing an audience – whether you’re giving a presentation, writing an ad campaign or updating Twitter – you must consider the following:

Who are you talking to? We’ve all heard men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and if you’ve ever had a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, you know it’s an accurate statement. Guys and gals have different needs, and they don’t interpret things in the same way, so, as with a marketing campaign, it’s important to keep those disparities in mind. Are you trying to influence a Fortune 500 CEO? A local restaurateur? Your girlfriend? Think about what drives them, what their values are and what they need most from you, and highlight those qualities in your message. But remember, just because someone is in a serious profession, doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate levity, and conversely, someone in a “fun” industry isn’t necessarily silly. And guys, when a girl lets you buy her a drink, don’t think she’s also willing to watch you play video games for hours at a time.

Are you using meaningless platitudes? Trying to express your emotions is tricky – you have so much to say, but sometimes all you can muster are lyrics from a Phil Collins song, and that approach is ineffective. Whether you’re breaking up, hooking up… or trying to get new clients, throw out the sonnets and stock photos, and get original. If you’re using phrases like “great customer service,” “out of the box” or “go the extra mile,” please stop. You might as well be saying “My product/service has no distinguishable features compared to my competitors” or “I want you to think I’m creative even though I’m not.” Much like hearing “Your love is like a red, red rose …” is more cringe-worthy than convincing, using superficial marketing clichés is equally deplorable.

Are you trying to have your cake and eat it too? The whole friends-with-benefits situation never works. You just can’t expect to have all the perks of a relationship without the commitment. The same goes for PR campaigns. A progressive communications strategy requires support and commitment too. You can’t expect to have an impactful performance stunt without dedicating time to social media and press relations, and you’ll never reach a campaign’s full potential if you’re constantly holding back to avoid conflict. And when you do anything half-heartedly, it shows in your results. Guys, same goes for you.

Are you being direct? Do you want to be with someone more than anything? Say it. Do you hate it when she leaves the lid off the toothpaste? Tell her. Is he constantly on his phone at dinner? Let him know you don’t like it. People often assume leaving room for interpretation is best, but your message is likely to get lost along the way. Transparency in campaigns is of upmost importance as you establish credibility with your clientele – don’t let wishy-washy messaging hinder your success.

Relationships are messy, and marketing isn’t much different. Neither one can survive without thoughtful communication, yet it’s easy to take the path of least resistance. If your company or your significant other is important enough, you’ll find a way to rise above these challenges.