Outside Perspectives: Whether You Know It or Not

Why inclusive communication?

In grade school, I knew when a substitute teacher got to my name on the attendance role because they typically paused with a puzzled look on their face. “A-A-B-H-A” was not a commonly occurring name for most people. Some powered through and tried their best, while others just apologized before even trying…until my 7th grade biology substitute, Mrs. D.

I knew Mrs. D. got to my name, but before I could interject she called out, “Oo-boo-hoo,” with an irritated tone. The class broke into a roar and when things finally settled, I said, “It’s pronounced “ah-bah”. Mrs. D. looked up and with a callous glare said, “It doesn’t matter.” My 12-year-old self was embarrassed, hurt, angry and confused. Feeling the eyeballs of my peers on me, I fought back tears and said, with all the confidence I could muster, “It matters to me”.

Feeling not important or excluded is an experience most have managed before. There is definitely value in learning to be resilient in the face of exclusion; however, the consequences of exclusion become dangerous when board rooms, classrooms, congressional chambers and media outlets use exclusion as their default, whether they know it or not.

What is inclusive communication?

Inclusive communication is a communication style that is understood by all, but rather than start with what defines this communication style, let’s begin with what it is not:

• Getting everyone to agree
• Only applicable to minority groups or demographics
• Penance for previous inequalities
• Being politically correct

Inclusive communication creates shared meaning through the use of language, active listening, self-awareness, vulnerability and patience. Inclusive communicators (ICs) understand that the skills used to successfully navigate spaces where we differ are critically important to problem solving. In other words, relationships that value listening and honest communication tend to be stronger. Companies led by dynamic teams tend to be successful. Students that feel free to express a diversity of opinions tend to be more engaged in learning.

An example…

I saw this sign inside the bathroom stall of a Buc-ee’s convenience store off of TX Highway 290. As it turns out, bathroom cleanliness impacts 95% of people’s choice to spend money in that store, making potty breaks Buc-ee’s #1 marketing priority.

The literal translation of the Spanish in the sign is, “It is okay to throw toilet paper into the toilet bowl. Thank you.”

To reiterate, the Spanish readers are being told to throw the toilet paper in the bowl, while English readers are being asked to notify the store management if the restroom is not clean. Upon first read, this sign may seem patronizing, offensive, or even biased. Why would they ask the Spanish speaker to throw waste in the toilet, while the English speaker is to seek management’s attention if the restroom is dirty? Now, let’s unpack why this is actually a good example of inclusive communication:

Context: Highway 290 connects the major Texas cities of Houston and Austin and according to the 2011 American Community Survey, 29% of people in Texas speak Spanish and 65% speak English as a first language. In addition, over 4.5 million people (16.8%) living in Texas are born outside of the U.S. from countries around the globe. It is extremely common in many parts of the world, particularly developing countries, to have poor septic and sewer systems. An effective strategy to avoid toilets backing up and overflowing is to throw used toilet paper in the trash rather than flush it down the toilet.

Design: The creator of this sign needed to take multiple audiences and different contexts into account when designing how to convey two different messages in three languages – Spanish, picture and English. I do not imagine that arriving at this design was easy or without frustration, but I am certain that this sign is informative and respectful of every customer that uses this bathroom and meets the intended purpose.

Biggest take-away – rather than just being arrested by anger about discarded toilet paper, this sign maker had to choose to learn, address a knowledge and experience gap and engage everyone in keeping the restroom clean. Consequently, Buc-ees is known for having the cleanest restrooms on the road and new stores clear $12-20 million in annual revenue. Inclusive communication benefitted their bottom line, whether they knew it or not.

So now what…

We have just witnessed quite arguably the most contentious, shocking and plain ‘ol ugly presidential campaign in modern history. The electoral map, composition of the electorate and the standards to which we hold the discourse of national leaders have profoundly changed. At a time in history when we have more methods to communicate than ever before we are not talking, and more importantly, not listening to one another. This campaign and election illustrate the truth that systematic exclusion begets tension, unrest, impatience, anger and argument.

ICs invite many opinions to the proverbial table and facilitate the emotions that emerge by establishing common language, listening thoughtfully and reflectively, being uncomfortably self-aware and exceedingly patient. The greatest thing about an inclusive style of communication is that it can be taught and customized to each learner. Communicating more inclusively is not easy, but is absolutely necessary to achieve strong relationships, families, work environments, communities and societies.

As you consider the value of inclusive communication, here are a few things to ponder:

Language: How often do I use acronyms and phrases that are unlikely to be understood by everyone in a meeting? How much do I rely on generalized demographic information to define my audience or even my stakeholders? What voices are at my table…kitchen and conference?

Listening: Do I listen to respond, or do I listen to hear? How often does listening to someone speak become time to check my phone? How often do I ask for clarification, especially when something is said that makes me uncomfortable?

Self-Awareness: What biases do I have against others that I know about (explicit bias)? What biases do I have that I am unaware of (implicit bias)? How does my background inform what I believe about communication and the audiences with whom I communicate?

Patience: Have I ever tried to change a habit? Was it easy? Did it take time? In an on-demand, 140-character, emoji world, am I willing to accept the reality that most lasting change occurs gradually and requires prudent care and accountability?

Inclusive communicators begin by acknowledging what they do not know and are willing to be vulnerable and open to asking for help. I do not believe Mrs. D., a middle-aged black woman with children, maliciously intended to make me feel excluded over 25 years ago, but her actions had impact. If you find yourself surprised by Mrs. D’s race, I urge you to investigate why. The pursuit of self-awareness is the best starting point to learn inclusive communication.

At a time when we are repeatedly being told how divided we are, let us not forget to remember that no one likes driving over pot holes, everyone enjoys a good laugh and we all appreciate clean bathrooms. We agree on a lot and if we are willing to talk and listen through some tough terrain, we just might excavate treasured wisdom…whether we know it or not.

—Aabha

Aabha Brown is a Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work and has over 15 years of experience in the non-profit sector. Her life’s passion is to build the capacity of individuals and organizations to strengthen their ability to navigate cultural dynamics and improve structural equity through speaking, training and experiential teaching. To connect with Aabha, you may find her on Twitter @aabhabrown , Linkedin or email her at abrown28@uh.edu.

Aabha and her husband James reside in Houston and have three amazing children – Justice, Raja and Taj.