Understanding the “other side” through uncomfortable learning
Our country is torn.
Two sides, a great divide – with no solution in sight.
But what if the solution was easy?
What if we just talked to each other?
Many people tend to ignore or scoff at statements made by the opposite side of the political spectrum; I know I’ve done it.
No matter which side you sit in an argument, it’s exhausting to hear opposing views over and over. Your mind is strongly set on what you think is right and you know that the other side is just as stubborn.
But, ignoring opposing viewpoints isn’t a solution – nor does it effect change or make the views go away. The other half of the country still agrees with the statements.
So, what’s a better solution?
In his TED talk “Why it’s worth listening to people you disagree with”, Zachary R. Wood outlines something that he calls “uncomfortable learning”. This is a communication strategy that he uses to engage with a person who has directly opposing views to his and, quite simply, have a calm conversation with them. He speaks with them to discover their motives and logic.
Zach arrives to the conversation ready to understand – not fight. He converses with the sole purpose of learning why the person feels so differently about an important topic than he does – not to change hearts and minds.
Easier said than done? Probably. In fact, we recommend you review these helpful tips from a legit psychologist on how to talk to people you can’t agree with.
But, “uncomfortable learning” is absolutely a practice that we should all employ in our daily lives. There is always something to learn from the perspective of others, even when doing so might be difficult.
This kind of mutual understanding can help us become better humans and a better nation. Imagine living in a country where the government doesn’t shut down because of polarizing disagreements.
Let’s turn the hatred into understanding. Let’s turn being “The Other” into being together.
And that starts with you – and me. At the next family dinner with that uncle who waxes philosophical about his favorite politician or the next time you’re at happy hour with that fun-but-insanely-outspoken friend of yours: that’s where it begins.
Zach says it best: “It’s my belief that to achieve progress in the face of adversity, we need a genuine commitment to gaining a deeper understanding of humanity.”