I had previously tried listening to a handful of podcasts of varying themes—ones on current events, sex, fictional narratives—but could never really get into any of them. It’s not that they weren’t interesting or didn’t provide me with sufficient entertainment—the one I listened to on ayahuasca had my jaw-dropped half the time—but I would rather watch or read something than listen to it, and you can’t legally do that while driving.

Then I came across Nancy—a weekly NYC-based podcast hosted by two queer Asian-Americans, Kathy Tu and Tobin Low. I was taken aback by the short summary provided alone: “Stories and conversations about the queer experience today. Prepare to laugh and cry and laugh again.” Being a queer person, especially one of Asian background, I felt a deep, almost familial connection to these two people I had never met or interacted with before. What brought us together were the their stories about being queer AND Asian in America and the lens through which we see the world—our intersectional identities. 

There are very few journalistic outlets that detail the queer Asian-American experience. There are several for queer people and several for Asian-Americans, but few to none for those who identify as both. Nancy satisfied my need for the lack of community I felt was missing in my life. Despite living in a small Texas town, I knew there were people living paralleled experiences elsewhere. I wasn’t alone.

The first episode centered around one of the most difficult moments in a queer person’s life—their encounters with coming out to their mothers. It was difficult to listen to, as Kathy’s mother (who she’s come out to in the past, but failed to earn her acknowledgement of the situation), in so many words, said she couldn’t fully support her yet. Why? Because that’s just the way her generation is, coming from conservative Taiwan.

Many queer people of color face this dilemma with our families who come from different worlds where “being gay” isn’t a thing. Stories and conversations like these are vital to individuals struggling with acceptance in their own families and communities. If we can continue creating these same, authentic experiences of connection and confronting taboo topics, we might be able to better understand one another and fill in missing gaps. Maybe even creating our own families along the way.

What they say might be true: it never gets easier, but you get better. We can get better together.

A few months ago, I felt the need to join the rest of the modern yuppie world and find a podcast to listen to on my commute to and from work

How a podcast made me feel less alone

Condensed

The fear of not belonging is a pretty freaky-strong psychological phenomena for us humans. In days gone by, social isolation could mean the difference between literal life and death. But, while your community isn’t likely to cast you out to starve in the wilderness for not being socially accepted, the idea of not belonging can still feel like a certain kind of death. No thanks.

Perhaps you’re all too familiar with the uncomfortable sensation of feeling like an outcast caught in the middle of polarized shouting of opinions. It might happen when watching the news,  when scrolling through social media or at that one happy hour when intelligent, well-meaning friends take a political conversation just a little too far over beer. 


But, while it might feel like you’re all alone in this middle ground, the reality is that less than 37% of members of political parties actually feel warmly about their own party. Those living in the political fringe are true rarities, although they can be pretty darn vocal. The rest of us? We’re stranded in the middle alongside you feeling alone, but in reality, not alone at all.


As Black Sheep ourselves (by company name and by personal calling), we want more people to understand what it means to truly belong. And belonging together is not about agreeing 100% of the time. We live in a world of nuanced opinion and, instead of shaking our fist at our differences, we actively seek out the beauty in those nuances. 


Sure, we might not have identical opinions on literally everything (mushrooms on pizza, best ’90s hip hop artist, presidents, etc.), but that is exactly what makes each of us interesting and worth talking to. There’s some damn good company in the middle, just saying.


As Brene Brown says: “True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”  


Your unique voice and your personal conviction is powerful, even though ours might sound a little different than yours. Use your spot in the center to enable you to passionately activate around the things that matter most. As you stand up for what you believe in, don’t forget to look right next to you in that quiet lonely middle. We’re right there, ready to link arms and step forward with you.

What are we doing here? As an agency whose work revolves around organizations who affect change in the world, Black Sheep is investigating what it means to be an activist in 2019. This post on activism is a part of something bigger  and you are too. Read on and join us as we #AgitateActivateAffect. 

The fear of not belonging is a pretty freaky-strong psychological phenomena for us humans. In days gone by, social isolation could mean the difference between literal life and death.

Stuck in the middle with you