We are all we've got.

I’ve been trying to write this damn email since August. It’s taken me months to wade through the mud, gather my thoughts, muster some energy and find something to say. 

Summer was loud: Women’s rights rewound about 100 years, trans hate and discrimination in Texas chased good people out of town, racially motivated murders continued, children lost their lives in class, the climate crisis showed up daily in our weather and we woke up Monday to Sunday wondering if the grid would collapse. And everyone was screaming about ALL OF IT. 

I sat in silence, absorbing it all. Feeling it all. 

Today, everyone expects you to respond to everything all the time—to have a smart perspective, a quick response, a battle cry, a poetic manifesto. And they expect it now. So, whether for that reason or a million others, the people respond.

Personally, I found myself without a voice—a really scary finding for someone who has almost always had something to say. More deeply terrifying, I found myself wanting to run—to find a place to hide from it all—which is hard to process when you’ve built a life around fighting for progress. 

The more I shared this deeply vulnerable feeling with friends and colleagues, the more I realized I wasn’t alone. Lots of us are scared. Most of us are tired. And it seems like just about all of us are in shock that this is where we are. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how deeply unoriginal the scenario was: 

“The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee. These responses are evolutionary adaptations to increase chances of survival in threatening situations.” 

No wonder.

But still I wonder—where do I go from here?

The word worry comes from an Old English word “wrygran” which means “to strangle.” Has that ever felt so right? Day after day, we are being seized by the throat, the heart, the soul—so much so that it has become hard to breathe. Twenty-seven percent of American adults say that most days they are so stressed, they can’t function.

I’ve sat in this feeling since the day Roe fell and I sit in it now staring at this computer screen. The only difference? The calendar says November and a deadline is shaking me out of my silence. As the midterm Election approaches, I realize, I need these reminders… and maybe you do too.

Solidarity starts small. 

I didn’t know what to do after the Roe decision so I reconvened a group that sat around the table with me at the last annual Planned Parenthood luncheon. I called the people I know who work full-time in the field of women’s health and women’s rights. I had coffee with my friend who leads ACLU Texas. I reconnected with several former clients who have been fighting for justice for decades. What we need now (more than ever?) is unity—and that can start by spending a few hours a week reconnecting with others seeking progress. If nothing else, it will make you feel less alone—but much bigger than that, I believe it begins to thread the needle that knits us back together. 

Voting is brass tacks—the bare minimum.

As you look around you between now and November 8, I hope you’ll be hearing it everywhere: vote, vote, vote, vote, vote. And you must. But what I’d like to encourage you to think about is how you can go deeper than you have before. Spend extra time getting to know what’s on the ballot and how it works—the races you used to ignore are now the ones changing the nation. Get involved with a candidate’s campaign. Sign up to be an election worker or VDVR. Block walk, phone bank, offer rides, volunteer. Ask everyone around you if they’re voting, when they’re voting, how they’re voting, if they know how to get the information they need. This can change whether they make it to the polls.

Spending is supporting. 

If you know what and who you believe in—and who you don’t, consider searching donation histories before you spend your money. You might be paying more than you think for that clean bathroom. What’s the real price of those shoes? Do your research before you open your wallet and align your values and dollars. 

Progress hides behind pain. 

It’s easy to feel like everything is unraveling when big things are coming undone. And the things we’ve seen recently unwind in America are century-long fights. So yes, we’re in dire straits, but there is nothing more unproductive than believing everything is broken and nothing is moving in the right direction. If they get us to believe that, they’ve won. Make sure you’re noticing the progress that is happening because it will remind you that hard things are possible. 

We’ve gotta be brave. 

We are all we’ve got. We’re our own advocates and each other’s too. Use your voice and privilege to keep listening, learning and leading. Be honest and loud—not popular, optimized and filtered. Be patient and unrelenting and work to understand the true and long path of progress. And most importantly, pick your battles and take good care of your health. You can’t care and act deeply on 100% of the things that are broken—you’ve got to prioritize and take good care of yourself to go the distance. 

As I work to find my voice again, I am spending a lot of my time listening. I’m also learning I don’t always need to have something to say. If I do choose to speak up, I don’t have to have it all figured out or the “right” words to say. Sometimes, sharing our deepest thoughts is enough to give someone else the courage to move ahead. I hope that reading this little letter will do that for someone. 

We’re at 4 days and counting. Today is the last day to early vote. Please, make your plan and go vote. And if you find your voice—I dare you to ask every single person you see between now and November 8th if they’ve voted. Our lives depend on it. 

Aimee 

A few resources, courtesy of the Black Sheep team:

• Watch a recap of our IG Live "Let's (Actually) Talk About Voting."
• Vote411 - a tool from our friends at the League of Women Voters. You can look up your ballot, learn about each candidate and issue, and make a plan to take with you to the polls.
• Headcount - use their website to figure out exactly what you need in order to vote, from registering to finding polling locations.
• When We All Vote - get your questions answered and know your rights when you go to the polls.
• For our fellow Houstonians, check out Harris Votes for local info on where to go.